The First Time

Written Spring 1999

The first time, I wore a garbage bag was when I attended the 1994 Easter celebration at my Aunt Liz's house. The invitation hinted at weird activities when it requested that we show up in our oldest clothes. After a relatively normal Easter egg and basket hunt, the real fun began.
Carol, my aunt's friend and cohort, began handing people large plastic garbage bags. Then we were told to make three holes in them. I'll never forget what I heard next. These holes would be used for our arms and head. We were going to wear garbage bags. And if that weren't enough, we had to put them on outside. I can only say I'm glad it was by my aunt and not our house, so the neighbors wouldn't always be wondering about us.
When we eventually wandered downstairs, my aunt greeted us with shower caps for our heads. I also noticed the newspaper lying on the floor. My feeling of dread doubled when I saw my mother's husband pull out the camcorder.
While we divided ourselves into groups of three, tucking our hair into the shower caps, we were explained the rules of the game. I would sit down in the chair while my Aunt Wendy would stand behind me. Chris would stand a few feet in front of us, a hand over one eye. I was handed a plastic cup to put on my head while Wendy was handed a cup of raw egg. To make it a little interesting, Wendy was blindfolded. Chris had 15 seconds to direct the egg into the waiting cup. But she couldn't talk. Through hand signals, she needed to communicate the direction to me who would speak commands to Wendy. Due to Chris's good directional skills, and Wendy's careful listening, I received no egg down my neck or even on my shower cap.
By the time we got to pouring soggy Cocoa Puffs on our partners for wrong answers, I had forgotten all about wearing the garbage bag.