Ode to Def Leppard
Written July 19, 1999
EUPHORIA - n. SLANG - The ADRENALIZE rush of a PYROMANIA HYSTERIA when you're locked in a VAULT and feeling RETROACTIVE HIGH 'N' DRY ON THROUGH THE NIGHT
WHEN THE WALLS CAME TUMBLING DOWN, I told myself "IT DON'T MATTER" because whoever did it would have to ANSWER TO THE MASTER. They we're probably WASTED and trying to get his ROCKS OFF. But then I saw over the SATELLITE that in the United States (HELLO AMERICA) that women and children were crying. Well, you know what they say, SORROW IS A WOMAN. I guess I just have faith that the ROCK BRIGADE will get the guys who did it.
After I told myself LET IT GO, I saw ANOTHER HIT AND RUN while I was HIGH 'N' DRY (SATURDAY NIGHT). This other senseless violence was BRINGIN' ON THE HEARTBREAK until I did the old SWITCH 625. Heading down the new street, I was pursued by LADY STRANGE. I turned to yell at her - "YOU GOT ME RUNNIN'" - a couple times ON THROUGH THE NIGHT. All she could reply was NO NO NO. I thought I ended up in a funny mirror house at a carnival because all I heard around me was "MIRROR, MIRROR (LOOK INTO MY EYES)," but maybe that was just ME AND MY WINE.
When I awoke from the drunken stupor, I realized it was TOO LATE FOR LOVE because BILLY'S GOT A GUN and thinks he's DIE HARD THE HUNTER. I thought I was COMIN' UNDER FIRE but they were just FOOLIN'. It was all just a play, but that didn't make it any better because I realized I had STAGEFRIGHT. The director kept yelling "ACTION! NOT WORDS," but I was as still as a ROCK OF AGES. When the audience began to chant "ROCK ROCK (TILL YOU DROP)," I relaxed long enough for them to take a PHOTOGRAPH. That was the end of my stage days, though. After the production they shot off a bottle ROCKET, but that just reminded me of the GODS OF WAR. I thought back to all those WOMEN in the United States who were so EXCITABLE they were going to RUN RIOT. The sound of more fireworks had the crowd in mass HYSTERIA. I began yelling "DON'T SHOOT SHOTGUN" forgetting those were friendly sounds and that we weren't ARMAGEDDON IT. Thinking of the end, I remembered my LOVE AND AFFECTION. He was such an ANIMAL - I remember when he would POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME. But he's gone now. LOVE BITES.
I was wondering where HEAVEN IS and thinking about my long lost love. HAVE YOU EVER NEEDED SOMEONE SO BAD? He really could MAKE LOVE LIKE A MAN, but he always treated me like his PERSONAL PROPERTY. TONIGHT I needed to find someone new. "STAND UP (KICK LOVE INTO MOTION)," I told myself as encouragement. I tried some pick up lines - "LET'S GET ROCKED" "I WANNA TOUCH YOU" - but none seemed to work. Why do I build up my expectations only to have them TEAR IT DOWN? When I saw the WHITE LIGHTNING, I knew it was time to head home.
But just then some guy stepped up to say, "I WANNA BE YOUR HERO." Although it felt like I was stepping into a RING OF FIRE, I played along. My first assumption was correct - all he wanted was some ACTION. You find the weirdos ONLY AFTER DARK. I took my FRACTURED LOVE home after that, planned to RIDE INTO THE SUN. But I was always TWO STEPS BEHIND. I passed another bar on the way; FROM THE INSIDE, I could hear some DESERT SONG. Another guy stepped up to try his pick up line - "I'd MISS YOU IN A HEARTBEAT if you were to leave now" - but I turned him down also. I could hear him TWO STEPS BEHIND me as I left. I heard him yell, "I can't MISS YOU IN A HEARTBEAT" but I couldn't hear the rest. I only heard him tell his friend, "SHE'S TOO TOUGH."
When I came to a park bench, I sat down to reflect on my night. HYSTERIA seemed to be everywhere, especially when the ROCKET blasted and the walls fell. Certainly everyone thought they were ARMAGEDDON IT. I laughed when I thought of the PHOTOGRAPH of me FOOLIN' on stage. But then I remembered LOVE BITES. That was BRINGIN' ON THE HEARTBREAK faster than you can say LET'S GET ROCKED. I thought of my ANIMAL and wished someone would POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME. I thought, "HAVE YOU EVER NEEDED SOMEONE SO BAD?" But I had to answer "No" when I thought back to that guy with his "MISS YOU IN A HEARTBEAT" pick up line. I began humming the ROCK OF AGES when I began thinking what would happen when LOVE AND HATE COLLIDE?
I thought I could WORK IT OUT, but I ended up thinking WHERE DOES LOVE GO WHEN IT DIES? I BREATHE A SIGH as I struggle with the TRUTH? but that did nothing to DELIVER ME. I wanted to TURN TO DUST because my BLOOD RUNS COLD when I think about him. What good was this GIFT OF FLESh when he wasn't around. In my very own SLANG, he was my PEARL OF EUPHORIA.
DAY AFTER DAY I felt GUILTY about leaving him. I just keep telling myself IT'S ONLY LOVE and it's still good TO BE ALIVE. When I got to my door, I saw the DEMOLITION MAN. He wanted to tell me, "I'm BACK IN YOUR FACE." I looked up at the sky and saw what looked like a PAPER SUN. I couldn't believe I had been out ALL NIGHT. I felt like imploring to the KINGS OF OBLIVION to make him DISINTEGRATE. I told him I wasn't believing any of his PROMISES after he cheated on me once. I told him GOODBYE, and he vanished. Must be the powers I acquired from being a 21st CENTURY SHA LA LA LA GIRL.
Line from Pixelwarehouse
Copywright © 1999 beanpole