My Poetry

Do you know me, Dad?

If I showed you childhood pictures
	Would you know it's me?
Did you hear me misspell daisy
	to receive 2nd place in 2nd grade?
Did you see me in the track meet?
	I ran it three of four times
Grades 5-8, and yet I won,
	faster than anyone for 880 yards.
Couldn't find you in the crowd
	when I was confirmed.
Did you know that I placed third
	in regionals for FBLA?
Did you congratulate me when
	I was student of the month?
I was awarded it not only once
	but 4 times at North.
I looked for you
	when handed my diploma.
I saw you vaguely at my wedding - 
	was it really you?
Have you heard?  I made
	the Dean's list, 4.0.
Memory fades, your face escapes me.
	You never were around.
You came around to see my kids
	but didn't know what to do.
How many of my 19 birthdays
	were you present for?
Or do a few cards
	make all evils null?

Why I want to be my Father

So I can say, 'Fuck the world'
	And mean it
So I don't need to give a damn
	About anyone else
So I can leave everyone who loves me
	Just to be alone
So I can hurt everyone who cares
	Just because I can

Me, a Daisy?

Palest skin kissed with red freckles;
White petals scorched by the sizzling sun.
Tiny frame carries little weight
As does slim flower by some fate.
Poor to homeless and student now;
Rocky soil, daisy grows anyhow.
Dark years, surviving so much pain;
Shady region, plant survives the same.
Through it all I remained cheery,
though in the end a little weary.

If I were Reduced to Numbers

          1	plays I've written
	  1	cats I've owned
	  1	men I've married
	  2	children I've borne
	  2	years in college
	  3	college English classes
	  3	cameras I've owned
	  3	times I've been homeless
	  3	siblings
	  3.75	last GPA
	  4	years in public school
	  4	years my father lived with us
	  4.0	high school GPA
	  5	age I started writing
	  5	# of clocks in my house
	  6	favorite number	
	  7	lucky number
	  7	junior's size jeans I wear
	  7	number of calendars in my house
	  8	years I lived in Milwaukee
	  8	Def Leppard CD's I own
	  9	years at a Christian school
	  9	years I've lived in Waukesha
	 10	concerts I've attended
	 11	hours I work a week
	 13	credits I'm taking this semester
	 14	age when we moved into our first house
	 14	hours of school each week
	 17	age when I had my first child
	 18	age when I got married
	 19	age when I had my second child
	 28	size worn in men's jeans
	 30	pages of typewritten poems
	 34	preferred bra size
	 35	longest # of consecutive hours I've been up
	 36	short stories I've written in my lifetime
	 41	books I own by Christopher Pike
	 43	age of mother
	 47	credits I've earned in 3 semesters
	 50	age of father
	 89	poems thus far
	102.9	favorite FM radio station
	110	total pages of all my short stories
	112	weight last time I weighed myself
	238	pages in my longest story
	539	number on our license plate
	732	number of our rented house
       1979	year I was born
       2000	year I turn 21
       2006	year my driver's license expires

Fear

lurking slow -
maybe near, but submerged -
massive, hard to fathom
creeping like a slow wave
moving through the water thick with tension,
when least expected
overwhelming fear explodes through your body,
like the spouting of water from a whale,
consuming you whole

Bridgette

Bright, beautiful baby
readily reaching,
insistent in
destroying daddy's
grieving
emotional
tumultuous
turmoil
evermore